Who's Tony?! A Comcast Setup Saga that Nearly Broke Me

Two Days Six bus rides Three customer support calls One AI Chatbot Three Modems

That’s all it took to get internet live in my apartment.

NOTE: The events took place in September, but I am now just getting around to posting.

I recently moved. I was told upon inspection that the unit is currently setup for Xfinity (Comcast), but I was welcome to use any other service if I liked. Lovely, I thought to myself, I will avoid them at all cost. Since I was a child, I have either partaken or witnessed the tears and screaming that inevitably come from using Comast for any service. Whether hidden fees, unfounded accusations about service, unfair pricing even in the same neighborhood, and the most god awful service I have ever witnessed. They really have it all.

I looked up the public database of internet service providers in my area and I called each one. I waited on hold, for callbacks, and for second opinions. Alas, not only is Xfinity wired for my unit, it is the only provider for my unit. I relent and setup my account a week in advance of move-in, so I don’t skip a beat. I’m a grad student, so internet at home is my livelihood.

When I move-in, I pull the package from the mail area and begin setting it up immediately. I use their app - which is famous for profoundly inept it is, just check the Google PlayStore reviews - and get an error. Luckily, I had the foresight not to fuss with their AI Chatbot they relentlessly push on you. Instead, I get a customer support specialist in short order. A good sign, and a welcome surprise.

I will say, after all has been said and done, every single Comcast support person I came across were exceptional in their willingness to help. Even though all but one failed, they still exhausted every trick and option they had and I respect and appreciate them for this. Okay, back to support call #1.

I don’t recall #1’s name, but I do vividly remember his 22 years of experience in this role. It had been awhile since I setup a modem/router, so I wasn’t quick to jump to conclusions. The process is supposed to be simple after all. Plug in the power, plug in the coaxial cable. Activate internet. Done.

I spent the next hour reading off MAC addresses, turning off and reset-ing the “gateway” (Comcast term for the modem/router combo), and reinstalling the Xfinity app. About halfway through #1 has an epiphany “Your account was closed on the 17th. Why the hell did they do that?” That was problem number one. “And,” they pause, “You have the gateway, right? That’s what you were testing.” Yes, of course eye-roll. “Well, your gateway is listed as missing or stolen on your account.”

Bruh.

“Okay, I am going to open a new account for you and add the MAC address of the modem you have, so that you can get it up and running.” It failed. He tried a few other tactics and eventually relented as we passed the hour mark. “The only way to resolve this is to exchange the gateway for a new one at the nearest Xfinity brick-and-mortar store. We can’t change the status of the gateway as missing until you do.”

As we wrapped up, I could feel how dejected he was on the other side. 22 years. A problem he had seen before, yet no resolution. I guess that is some consolation.

I take what would be the first of four rountrips on the bus to the Xfinity store. I arrive and begin walking around the block searching for the address that was texted during my support call. Where the building allegedly was - I referenced an old Google street view photo - is now a parking lot.

Luckily, I give it a Google anyways and find that it moved a few blocks away, so not all was lost.

I finally arrive and they can’t pull up my account, so they ask me to sit and wait. And, so I did. I sat in the back of the store in which a massive ad wall was in front of me. I passed the time watching the gap under the wall. I could see each pair of shoes come and go. Some new, some old. Some in groups, some alone. My phone was at 10%. After nearly an hour of waiting with so many people in line they nearly ran out of seats, my name was finally called.

I spoke to the nerdy white man in his 30s and explained my issue. He confirmed what the man over the phone had said - the modem was cancelled on my account, so it couldn’t be serviced. He pulled out a new modem and registered the MAC to my account and sent me on my way. I will say, there was something unsettling in my leaving. I knew it wouldn’t work, but didn’t quite know why.

I get back on the bus, turn tail back to my apartment with the second of what will eventually become three modems. It’s hot and all I have in my apartment at this point of time is a bed. So, each day as I wait for furniture to arrive I sit on my floor or shell out cash to sit in a cafe to work away on job applications.

I open the new modem box and realize there isn’t a coaxial cable in the box. I collapse on the floor and give it up for another day.

I get up early to the signs of first sunshine and repeat what has now become a daily ritual of packing up my things and heading on the bus to fetch something at the Xfinity store. That’s trip 3.

I get home, plug everything together and open the Xfinity App to setup my internet. Not only does it fail, I can’t even propagate a network signal like I could with my last modem. I did what should never be done - I used the chatbot. The chatbot redirected me to a human who tried to troubleshoot.

Another hour wasted.

I get on the call queue for over-the-phone customer service.

Another two hours wasted.

All I leave with is this: either I wait over a week to have a technician come to my home, or I try to get to the brick-and-mortar store again and see if they can exchange the modem again.

I cry. I cry quite a lot. I had finally been beaten. I had held strong day-after-day. Moving here was supposed to be fresh start, an opportunity for me to be brave and to try out ways of being that were better. That were more confident and that would make me believe I’d be alright alone here. This was the first breaking. I sobbed and thought to call my mom, but thought better of it.

I pass the day and resolve to go to the Comcast store - what other choice do I have? I can’t survive without internet in my home and each day is another day late on deliverables. Falling further behind on dissertation work.

I get to Comcast store and wait. Luckily - my fourth trip mind you - this is the shortest wait. I get another worker in his 30s who reminds me of a friend of mine living in New Jersey. I’m not sure what our vibe is and I feel feral. Unfortunately, not in the manic, sensual way, instead in the I’m going to fucking end someone. I could myself on the emotional edge ready to jump at any sign they would placate my issue, pass me off, or hand me another god damned modem.

I breathe and try to be helpful.

I explain in detail what I have been through, and the man has some pity or empathy in his eyes once I reach the end of my story. Unfortunately, I don’t see “I know how to fix this” in there, not yet anyway.

We start from the beginning as he pulls out the modem and inspects the MAC, tries to pull up my account and finds something odd - this modem’s MAC is not on my account, but my original modem’s is. I shrug.

“Whose modem is this then?” He looks intently at the screen and bites his lip.

He looks at me, back at the screen, then back at me again, “Whose Tony?” he asks, perplexed.

I answer that I have no idea what he’s talking about. He asks if its the past resident and I say I don’t know, but I haven’t gotten any mail for him. I crane my neck around the computer and inspect the past resident’s who used Xfinity and to confirm my address. No Tony.

It turns out Tony lives out-of-state, and he is tied to this modem that ended up in my apartment.

The man helping me phones the manager and they call Tony to figure out how he has functioning internet if his modem is in fact in front of us.

This was the break in the case, and it had nothing to do with Tony. The MAC address registered on my account DOES NOT MATCH THE FUCKING BOX IT CAME IN.

So, someone mistakenly placed a modem in the incorrect box, linked the box’s MAC to my account, and now I had a mismatched modem for some random guy Tony in Minnesota.

But, that doesn’t solve the original question of how the first modem - which is apparently still on my account - didn’t work. Well, that was the second breakthrough. I was asked multiple times to pull up my app and I watched the worker’s face get crinkled each time I did.

That is, until breakthrough number two came.

“Can you try logging in with your phone number instead of your email?”

I did. And lo-and-behold, I had a whole different account with a whole different MAC address and message telling me to setup of my internet.

We both looked at each other in disbelief.

“What probably happened is that when you had your issue with the lost/stolen modem issue is that they removed the modem from your account and closed it. Then when you came back in, because they couldn’t look you up to add the new modem, they created a new account for you with your phone number. Then you got the mismatched modem on the new account, which didn’t actually matter because you were logged into the wrong account under your email - it’s deactivated so you can’t get the internet on anyways.”

It was all coming together in my mind. I logged in with my phone number, which somehow used the same password, which I still don’t understand how that works, and saw the promised land.

“So,” he started, “Here’s what you have to do now. We are going to get you a new modem.” I think I flinched here, “And I will triple-check that it is on your account and you can get logged in to your app. Then you get home plug it in and just follow the prompts by logging in with your phone number.” I nodded. “Here’s the one catch, The only way this can go wrong, which I don’t think will happen, is that because you technically have two accounts is that they may cause problems in activation for some database reason.” He handed me a business card, “You should have them fully delete your original account, and that can only unfortunately happen by calling the central office, so this number,” he underlined the number.

“The only way to know if we fixed the problem is for you to go back and plug everything in again, I’m sorry.” I sighed, “Okay, I’m going to get a new modem and then you will be good to do.”

He comes back from the store room and begins plugging in the new modem’s info into my account tied to my phone number.

I get anxious and ask if I can double-check the modem, box, and entry on the computer. “I wouldn’t blame you at all, take your time.”

I double-check, and then I triple-check, and finally I let it go and pack up my things.

We had a weird kind of bond after this. It was truly like figuring out a mystery, and I knew in my intuition that this was it, we had figured it out.

I got home, plugged everything in and the Wi-Fi propagated a signal with no fuss. It was finally over.

Photo Credit: John Maldonado on Unsplash